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Why it might be time for a Love Strategy
Why it might be time for a Love Strategy
19th Feb

2015

Why it might be time for a Love Strategy

  • What needs to happen for you to have greater love in your life?
  • Do you believe you need to be thinner, more successful, have a greater income, or a six
  • pack? Does he/she need to shape up, or is love something that happens to other people?
  • Do you blame yourself, your partner, your parents, the kids when things go wrong?

The reality is it is most likely to be a combination of factors that finds us alone, or in an unfulfilling relationship.

Research has shown that close, secure and supportive relationships are the most important for our emotional wellbeing. Love is the one true emotion and everything starts and stops with you. Let’s face it, if you can’t invest in your relationship with you, and love you, how can anyone else? If you are ready to bring greater love in your life, why not try my top tips to kick start your love strategy.

What language are you talking?

No really, it might sound crazy but that vague look that crosses your loved ones face may very well indicate that they don’t have a clue what you are trying to express.

You see, you can quite simply be talking a different language. We mostly use language that fits with our dominant representational system; Visual, Auditory, Kinaesthetic or Auditory Digital. If your loved one is more visual, they may need to see small gifts and tokens of affection, more Auditory, then they need to hear those three little words, tell them you love them, more Kinaesthetic, just hold them, a cuddle makes everything right and if they are Auditory Digital, then of course they love you or they wouldn’t be with you, right? When you are talking the same language, you feel more connected, so taking the time to use their language is a sure fire way for them to feel valued.

Click here for your free Love Rep System worksheet and find you and your partner’s dominant love language.

What do you believe about love?
What were you taught about love when you were growing up, from your parents, your Society, your Religion? Beliefs are like the building blocks to our lives and we often act in response to them without ever questioning. Do you believe that you are deserving of love? Is love something that happens to other people or is it just around the corner?

What holds you back from love?
Whether you have a partner or not, what limits your love? Do you believe you are unlovable? We can all be held back by our experiences. Heartache is a tough teacher and we can vow never to let anyone in, or find it hard to forgive ourselves or others and emotionally move on. How do you withdraw from love or sabotage love?

What will more love in your life, do for you?
It’s time to be honest, honour your needs. What will that secure, loving relationship give you? What would be present in your life then, that isn’t present in your daily life now? If you are going to have a new loving relationship or pay more attention to the one you are in, what would need to change, what are the benefits of this? If you’re social life, your work life, or even your wardrobe is too full, your dream new love or your existing partner may struggle to get noticed in the chaos. It’s time for a little reality check in.

What allows me to be more loving?
Do you find yourself more loving when you are less stressed, healthier or more fulfilled? Whatever was going on for you when you had more love in your life, recognise what it was like when you got what you wanted. Life moves so fast and ok maybe that time has gone, but we can learn from those positive memories. Try this exercise, sit quietly and reflect on 3 loving moments, when you felt really motivated by love, what was happening? If you could talk to that younger self about love, what would they be saying to you right now that you would need to pay attention too?

Formulate your love strategy
So taking all of your insights from the above, what needs to change for you to have more love in your life? What 3 things could you implement today in your very own love strategy? Remember if you always do what you have always done, you will get the same results. Be your own best friend, be kind to you, everything that has happened has brought you to this point and by now you will have a greater awareness of what might be getting in the way of love.

If this blog has brought up some “blocks” for you and you feel you would benefit from a 1-1 session with me, please get in touch to see how emotional wellness coaching can help you move on this area of your life.

Loving what is and what will be.
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